Curbside Archeology

Last week an angry citizen of our town wrote a letter to the editor of our local newspaper. Her letter read:
"Dear Editor: Beware! The junk ordinance is coming! Our county commissioners, eager to implement their home rule agenda, tried to impose a junk ordinance on us in 2008. Now here they come again, intent on unleashing ordinances upon us in January 2010. They figure if they rush a junk ordinance through, they can start building their junk police snooper squad. Our taxes then will have to pay for their salaries, uniforms and cars so these snoopers can go looking for "ferrous and non-ferrous materials" on our property."
Junk Police Snooper Squad? If that isn't a job description written for me, I don't know what is. Where do I sign up? I would like to offer my services free of charge to all of Tuscaloosa County to head up the Snooper Squad and I won't even charge a salary. Are you kidding? This might well be my dream job; going around rummaging through people's property looking for reusable junk. My mind is swimming in the possibilities!